Monday, September 28, 2009

You Know You Are From Newfoundland When...

1. You never meet any celebrities except Buddy Wasisname and Toni Marie Wiseman.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor-trailer on the "TCH".

3. "Vacation" means going to St. John's for the weekend.

4. You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular everywhere else.

5. You measure distance in hours when traveling across the province, and full days when measuring distance across the country.

6. You know several people who have hit moose more than once.

7. Your classes were often cancelled because of snow.

8. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

9. You use a down comforter in the summer.

10. Your grandparents drive at 100/km per hour through 13 feet of snow in a raging blizzard - without flinching.

11. Your social life consists of drinking at parties, in the woods or downtown, and bingo, darts, cards & fishing after 30.

12. You see people wear hunting clothes or jogging suits to social events.

13. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

14. You think of the major four food groups as moose meat, beer, fish and berries and a typical meal portion for you would feed a European for two days.

15. You carry jumper cables in your car and you know how to use them.

16. There are 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.

17. You only own three spices: Salt, Pepper and Ketchup.

18. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

19. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

20. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent and dresses funny.

21. You think lingerie is a short flannel night dress.

22. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction.

23. It takes 3 hours to go to the store for one item when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone you know.

24. You have a satellite dish/cable with 500 channels and still watch NTV.

25. You consider a snow blower a recreational vehicle.

26. Everyone knows a snowmobile in the back of a new truck is the sign of a well off person.

27. You have your own rubber boots & ball cap for picking berries and fishing.

28. The shed or the barn are acceptable places for grown men and sometimes women to drink and socialize.

29. You actually understand these jokes, smile, and forward them to all your friends from Newfoundland.

Pictured: NTV's Toni-Marie Wiseman